20070522 daily updated.

what else??what else??

i can't treat people like a shit,but why u need to push me to do that??yes,i'm telling you,i'm not smile by my heart when u see me,i'm smile for pretending i'm strong to take all this shits.is that clear?is that clear?

if i really kill myself,will you care about me?
if i really hurt myself,will you see my scar?
i know it sounds silly for what i just said,but that's what i feeling now.

i can't even tell myself how to do now,cuz i'm too far away from reality.don't ask me why i treat u like a shit,cuz i can't even treat myself like diamond.and don't ask me why i care about it,cuz i do,or u can say,i used to be.

i couldn't care less anymore.i couldn't.

20070518 daily updated.

sometime,something can be simple.

now i only have like a few weeks left for school,and i can't wait to get out from here.well,even i haven't find the job offer yet,but just let me get out of this country and those ugly ppl for god sake!!

but yup,job haunting shit is really annoying me these days.i feel like i'm in the cage,and i know actually finding a job is not that hard.just...i just wanna do something i really like,but apparently there's no offers i can take it.oh god,i'm such a mess.maybe u will ask me like,"how about moving to nyc??",yeah right,give me a green care first then i will move there for sure.

feeling tired,gonna go sleep and try to make me stop thinking about this shit.nite,baby.