How to be a Hipster??

1. Must have American Appreal shirts, hoodies or whatever.
2.Always know the promoters of the bar or club, 'cuz they never want to wait in line and pay for the entrance.
3.Must love MGMT, The Ting Tings, Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
4.Must have t-shirt with people stick out the middle finger or other dirty nasty shits, like anti-society so they can looks smarter than anyone else.
5.Must drink a lot of coffee 'cuz it make them feel awake then they can spend their energy to tell other the indie arts they love or whatever.
6.Olcohols r not only for the weekend, and beers are always necessary.
7.Must be inpatience to listen to people explains.
8.They don't say they are big fan of fashion, they say they are big fan of boutique.
9.It's all about DESIGN.
10.Never hate their house, 'cuz they all living in their own palace.
11.They are beautiful and awesome, no matter what you said.
12.Having a cable tv just wasting their time, books and dvds are the way much better.
13.Doesn't seems to care about this world just because changing the world is a stupid idea, probably their friends will make fun of them.
14.People who seems happy and positive all the time are weird.
15.Love Marlene Dietrich more than Marlilyn Monroe.
16.AAAAAAAAAATITUDE!!
17.Good camera is important so they can catch every fucked up moment from their life and post on the blogs, or maybe facebook..
18.Lover is not just a decoration, it's also a reason they can make other people jealous.
19."I never wanna be so popular, I just wanna have fun in my life".
20.Can have a party everywhere they go, and always bitchin' at the stranger who think they are too loud.


What else??

20080603 daily updated.

So I have been pretty chill-out these days, no anger, no depression (till now), no drama. Even I though my little life is going to back on the road, but still nothing happend. Well, I found out I can't just put all the fault on someone or some stupid reason, I only can blame myself and trying to figure out something as usual, then look forward.

Jaime told me other day about Lena is going to marry like next month in bali. I'm really happy for her and I can't tell how happy I am now. I'm glad everything is getting better in her life, but I'm also wondering "when will I have that kind of courage to get my life back??", but not "who will come to my life and bring me back to real world??". I mean, I have been waiting for the oppotunity to fall in love or start my career for all over one year, now my younger classmates are going to graduate this weekend, but I'm still waiting for some good reason to give me the new point of my life. It's just stupid and tiring. And the thing which is not in my plan is- I didn't know that you being more hopeless by the time you have been waiting. Like I think I know what kind of thing I'm looking for, like moving to NYC, but now, I don't really know what I want. A lover? A job? A dream? A goal? None of them I'm enjoying now. But seeing people's life get better make me happy, I certainly wish Lena in future and bless on her head.

So I guess that's what all I wanna say now, 'cuz it's another sleepless nite for me. But the greatest thing for these days is- my album is going to be finished in few weeks I hope. Even I haven't find a way to release yet, but I'm sure it's going to be a kick-ass one. Well, maybe it won't be a awesome one but it gonna be very BEVIS. I will trying to put it on here later. Be patient, babe!!

20080409 daily updated.

So there're a lot of things just keep on hammering in my head at this moment, including how someone fucked up my life and why there's another one is doing the same thing to me now. It's just fucked up. But I didn't choose to get any actions to revenger or respond, 'cuz from my previously experiences, I know it just gonna get worse and nasty if I choose to do that.

What else should I say??

I had a weird dream last nite (technically, this afternoon): I dreamed about I was laying on a little boat acrossing the black ocean, then someone who I never expect he will show up in my dream just came from those deep water, getting into my boat, and gave me a kiss. I was shock. Ok, I admit the first time I saw him in the real life I think he's quiet cute, but just "quiet cute", you know? Then I heard he's from one of place I love in this earth (it's weird, I always in love with people who come from that place), I was like, ok, you beat me, you win the game. But there was another one showed up like one week ago, I didn't think about him that much these days. And then this eccentric dream came out, I was like, oh ok, whatever. Yup, you know, my favorite word also I think it's really useful to face any situation-WHATEVER.

So what's new with my life? Let's me think, beside my aunt keep on spending my money and seems like she doesn't wanna give it back to me and my dad keep on asking to take the job which I'm sure I will got fried in 2 days, only one new thing coming out is my atm card is totally fucked and I'm so fucking broke now. Sounds pathetic, right? But yay, whatever. I told my dad if I can't figure out what I gonna do before my 24 b-day this year, I think the most amazing b-day gift I will give myself gonna be hang myself or just jump from our rooftop and see what's happend. But you know what my dad say after I told him these? He said, "no you're not allowed to do that ' cuz your insurance won't pay anything to us if you end up yourself by your own hands, so die in an accident will be much better for both of us." I was like, are you kidding me? Who the fuck is talking to me now? A stranger or the one I SUPPOSED to trust him most than anyother in this world? Well, it was not a nice thing to hear but I can't believe these shits are actually from MY DEAREST DADDY'S MOUTH.

But you know what? Whatever. Sorry for keep on saying whatever 'cuz I really can't find anyword to describe my feeling now. I just want money back and do the thing I wanna do in the rest of my life, but it seems like no one ever care. Oh god fuck that shit, I don't need too much money I just need some can afford Absinthe and another pack of red marlboro, that's all.

God!!!!

R.I.P Heath.

The Maker Makes by Rufus Wainwright
(from O.S.T "Brokeback Mountain")


One more chain I break,
to get me closer to you.
One more chain does the maker makes,
to keep me from bustin' through.

One more notch I scratch,
to keep me thinkin' of you.
One more notch does the maker makes,
upon my face so blue.

Get along little doggies, get along little doggies.

One more smile I fake,
I try my best to be glad.
One more smile does the maker makes,
because he knows I'm sad.

Oh Lord, how I know?
Oh Lord, how I see?
That only can the maker makes,
a happy man of me.

Get along little doggies, get along little doggies.

Get along.




(I Heart You forever and ever, Heath.)

20071116 daily updated.

i post it cuz i like this lyrics a lot, so enjoy.

[VOW]

I can't use what I can't abuse
And I can't stop when it comes to you

You burned me out but I'm back at your door
Like Joan of Arc coming back for more

I nearly died
I nearly died
I nearly died

I came to cut you up
I came to knock you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
I cam to shut you up
I came to drag you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
And break your soul apart

You burn and burn to get under my skin
You've gone too far now I won't give in
You crucified me but I'm back in your bed
Like Jesus Christ coming from the dead

I nearly died
I nearly died
I nearly died

I came to knock you up
I came to cut you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
I came to rip you up
I came to shut you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
And break your soul apart

I nearly died
I nearly died
I nearly died

I came to cut you up
I came to knock you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
I came to shut you up
I came to suck you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
Tear your little world apart
Tear your little world apart
And break your soul apart

I can't stop when it comes to you
I can't stop when it comes to you
When it comes to you
When it comes to you

{and shirley always sings this on their live:}
I feel upset
So let's do some celebrate
I feel upset
So let's do some celebrate
Everytime I see your dick
I see you come in my bed
Everytime I see your dick
I see you come in my bed
You ain't gonna need no leather clothes
You ain't gonna need no leather clothes
'Cuz you're loving on my time
My dear

20071018 Dandy Boy

You came to me like a shinny star,
with the big smile on your face, listening to your i-pod.
Walking and dancing like no one around,
oh baby come on, come tear me apart.

I put on my thong, I wanna be your slut,
will you take off all my clothes and have a body shot?
Oh my god why here getting so hot?
I think I need to drink more tequila.

Mm, uh-uh, oh baby can you give a little
Ohh-la-la, taking off your prada at my balcony,
Make some love, I’m the best boy you ever seem in your life,
Uh-uh, leave the money on the table, honey.

Oh dandy boy, tonite I wanna be bad.
Oh my dandy boy, you know I ain’t a good boy.

I take off my pants and now I am your slut,
but you can only watch, there’s no way you can touch.
Oh my god what is that getting so hard?
I think we need to get more Viagra.

Mm, uh-uh, oh baby come on give me a little
Ohh-la-la, let me be your beautiful dance whore
And make some love, do you got some cream for me do the facial work
Uh-uh, leave the money on my booty, honey.

Oh dandy boy, tonite I wanna be bad.
Oh my dandy boy, you know I ain’t a good boy.

I can take you to the heaven,
and if you want to, come share with my pleasure


Oh, my dandy boy.

20070907 daily updated.

I know it won't be easy, chasing your dream in the rest of your journey.

I admit, I always put my self to the deep depression and starting hate everything I had, everyone I know, including my parents. I'm really afraid that me will capture my mind and take off all of my passion and innocence. I'm really scared.

That's why it took so long so far for me to dominate myself.

These days, I was keep on thinking about "what I want" and "what kind of person I want me to be". That's right, it's all about DREAM. 10 minutes ago, I might tell you DREAM just a obsession which devil starts feeding us since we born, 'cuz not too many people can reach their goal until they get into their grave. I guess I might be wrong. Well, I'm not the lucky one, if my dream coming to me too early then my life will being totally meaningless. Sometime I wanna shoot myself cuz I think everything is so unfair, but I never try to fix it. So who else I'm going to blame for? No one. Also I do believe one thing I used to reject it calls "instant karma", so I know I can't stop hurting people cuz in the end, what they have been through will come back to me. And of course, it won't be pleasant.

So I'm still trying to figure out what I gonna do and what I can do, and I'm really confused and upset in these few months. Then I saw Aung San Suu Xyi's picture, I know I can do anything but the only thing I can't make sure I can do it best or not. I wanna be a big one and make a world to a better place, I wanna help the child like me out, I wanna, I want to......

"No pain, no gain." I guess.