20070826 daily updated.

God. I never need you so much like this than before.

I guess something just gone, and of course I wanna fix it but it will never work out anymore. Like the thing I screwed up or someone I don't talk with them anymore.....or something like that. I miss the feeling of happy so much now. No, I mean SATISFY and SIMPLE. I wish I can pretend there was nothing happen before I fucked, but it's impossible to get a chance like that at all.

How pathetic.

I just find out I lost my passion, the passion which I used to have doing anything I want. Like "I want it too bad so I'm going to get it", not "I GUESS I'm going to get it". Know what I mean? But when can I stop analysing? I mean it's always good to think about the bad result before you going to start work on something. But I don't need it now. I need to find the human nature to get my passion back.

Damn, another craps again. Ok, I'm going to shut myself now.

20070824 daily updated.

You know what? This is how the world looks like-FRAGILE.

I'm not being disappointed or something, I'm just telling the truth. I feel like I always need to take care of other people or try to give them some favor, but I never think about myself-where I'm going in future or something like...... my life. Seriously, I'm that kind of person who can give anyone I lover everything, but here's the question, are they the same kind of people like me?

Hell yes, of course not. Have you ever hear the chinese proverb, "Don't put your hot face on their cold arse." ? That's exactly what I'm feeling now.

I wish I can keep my innocence until the day I die, but it seems doesn't work. Something just gone and killed you already, and there's no way in hell you can take it back. Is that cruel? Yay, a little; but is that necessary? Well, I don't think so.

That's why I said this world is fragile, not delicate. Well, apparently we're hurting our mother of nature now so is it still beautiful or pretty? Facing the truth, nothing you can left but only lost everything you had. And that is the truth, the god damn fucking truth.

I'm not going to wasting my time on someone not important to me anymore. I'm wishing for myself and SCREW YOU, COLD ARSES!!

20080820 down, down, down.

Down, down, down,
to the hole which rabbit yells.
See me through their pointed teeths,
wishing before they suffocate me.

Getting ready to survive, huh?
A misunderstanding running the fairytale, huh?
Reality kills the truth, huh?
Become the person we don't want to be, huh?
Oh dear, oh dear.

Down, down, down,
to the lake which mermaid's proud.
If I can be one of them,
then thing will looks different now.

Be a warrior, can I?
Eccentric or back to the normal?
Victories or lies?
I shall care or not?
So I can made some stories without feeling bad?

Down, down, down,
I said down, down, down.
How far can we stand?
How low can we go?

I don't know,
I really don't know.

20070816 All the good in this life.

All the good in this life by Garbage


Once, when I was a girl,
I couldn't given you a ride for your money.
Oh, but how time have changed,
although you do look cute in those red cowboy boots.
No, you don't mess around,
but you're just a kid, you don't know what it takes.

No one can stop you now,
anymore they call tell the wind not to blow.
Who's going to run you now?
With the rider in the dirt back on estelin turf.
I can't tell you what to do,
you're free as a bird go do what you got to do.

Don't you worry boy, life will come and find you.
You gonna blow their mind, show them all the thing or two.
Don't you worry boy, life will come and find you,
You gonna blow their mind, show them all the thing or two.

All the good in this life, wish for yourself.
All the good in this life, wish for yourself.
All the good in this life, wish for yourself.

All the good in this life, wish for yourself.

20070815 daily updated.

friend, friend, friend. which one i can take him/her as my FRIEND?

i though u r good enough, until i found out u are just being a bad arse. first, when i go to nyc to visit you, u got fucking pissed and i don't even fucking know where's ur home; and then now u r telling me i'm a loser for u just because i didn't fucking tell our senior high school teacher what u fucking doing in nyc. do u think i really fucking know u r doing there?

oops, sorry, i though u taking the drug and smoking pot every single moment. come on, dude, u told me last weekend like u r doing the p.r job for hilton hotel, now u said i SUPPOSED to know u r a bartender in the restaurant now. what the fuck is that?

man, u r wasting my time. i'm already wasting it by my own, plz plz just grow up. the only thing u r good at is showing off what kind of big people u met in nyc. come on, fuck that! shut ur mouth and try to calm down, dude.

i don't know what to say now, and i don't even feel bad. surprise? i guess i've wasted fpr pretending all the friends around me like my family, but the truth is, they r not. even u, dude. i need to tell u now, u r just a deadwood and i'm pretty sad cuz i can't use u anymore. that's what i came for, that's why we were friend. is that clear?

suck it up or suck ur own ball, fucker.

20070811 daily updated.

Picture.


in the middle of the night,
i saw the picture of us from her words.
our madness, our happiness,
nothing can be saved but my sorrow.

the picture of you,
the picture of me,
the picture of you and me,
the picture of you and she,
i can't even remember how i came through all these things.

i remember that night was so cold,
i couldn't let the image cross the river of my soul.
she looked like a lovely lady as known as she is,
but her smile was tearing my heart to a black hole.

i couldn't remember how i got home,
i couldn't remember how to walk.
then i saw the letter i wrote,
i figured out i'm just diving in the hollow.

and you were laughing on the top of the hill,
like what you did in the picture.
the only thing i can do just fading in your shadow,
my life as well.

my life as well.

20070806 daily updated.

New York, New York. I want to be a part of it, big apple.

Yes, I have graduated already and just find out I don't need to do the stupid military thing in my country by my heart condition. Well, I can say, life is turning too good than what I imagined but now I'm getting very emotional and nervous now.

Moving to New York city always is the dream of my life, and I know it's going to be tough and hard. But I have tried so hard after I graduated, I still can't find the way I can staying there legal without getting a citizenship or green card. Like what I just said. it's gotta be tough. Even though my first New York experience is not really good, but I don't know, I just like the atmosphere there and I know if I can make it to big apple, then I can make it almost everywhere I want.

But anyway, yes, job haunting is not fun though, especially in Taiwan. From the TV news and what my father always says, most of people feel pretty disappoint and worry about the future of our country. Apparently, our president (which one I was support him before but now I just realize how dumb I was) didn't do the good job. Everything is getting really expensive here, not only oils, our food or anything are necessary for our life is getting really really rediculous expensive, but our payment getting lower and our duty getting heavier as well. At first I though it just a problem between the dream and reality, but now I guess not only these shits, there might be more stuff behind this to cause this shitty situation happened. Well, if I have money, of course I wanna move out from this country and take my family fly away, but another problem coming out which one is: the rich people getting richer but the poor people getting poorer. And why?

I don't know, I just feel like everything is turning unfair these days. It's not about jealousy, it's just ......unfair. And the media supposed to be make people getting positive not just tell us something like the celebrities' rumors or their fashion sense...... blah blah blah. Don't you think? I guess we're in the same though, but let's ask to ourself a question now: if you got a newspaper without anything about Paris Hilton and Linsay Lohan or Britney Spears, will you still interests in this newspaper or just throw it away?

I don't know, I think some rumors can be fun to discuss with your friend when you guys having a coffer enough, but not let it come in to our life like full time job. I guess now I just will keep it away and find a balance between my dream and reality. Race you to the bottom!!