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So I have been pretty chill-out these days, no anger, no depression (till now), no drama. Even I though my little life is going to back on the road, but still nothing happend. Well, I found out I can't just put all the fault on someone or some stupid reason, I only can blame myself and trying to figure out something as usual, then look forward.

Jaime told me other day about Lena is going to marry like next month in bali. I'm really happy for her and I can't tell how happy I am now. I'm glad everything is getting better in her life, but I'm also wondering "when will I have that kind of courage to get my life back??", but not "who will come to my life and bring me back to real world??". I mean, I have been waiting for the oppotunity to fall in love or start my career for all over one year, now my younger classmates are going to graduate this weekend, but I'm still waiting for some good reason to give me the new point of my life. It's just stupid and tiring. And the thing which is not in my plan is- I didn't know that you being more hopeless by the time you have been waiting. Like I think I know what kind of thing I'm looking for, like moving to NYC, but now, I don't really know what I want. A lover? A job? A dream? A goal? None of them I'm enjoying now. But seeing people's life get better make me happy, I certainly wish Lena in future and bless on her head.

So I guess that's what all I wanna say now, 'cuz it's another sleepless nite for me. But the greatest thing for these days is- my album is going to be finished in few weeks I hope. Even I haven't find a way to release yet, but I'm sure it's going to be a kick-ass one. Well, maybe it won't be a awesome one but it gonna be very BEVIS. I will trying to put it on here later. Be patient, babe!!